So it's official…
I'm becoming a wiener dog lady. Look… Ginger is thrilled.
I told the hanger a week ago today that if I wasn't the one… I wanted him to leave me alone. That I wasn't interested in being friends or "friends" as the case may be. Haven't heard from him since… zip… nothing… nada. 3-1/2 years. I don't hate the guy. He warned me from the start he was shallow but I thought he had hidden depths. Guess not.
So I've been doing my best to stay busy. Lots of knitting, my toe-up socks and some fetchings, nothing too mentally challenging. Cleaning my house.
Playing with my new toy. I needed a ball winder. I tend to end up at the LYS when ever I'm feeling despondent but this will get lots of use.
I am feeling despondent… it's a good word for a bad mood. I was happy being married (ignorant and blind yes… but damn it I was happy) and good at it too. Now it seems like something completely out of my reach. I am a good person, there is lots of love in my heart, I'm reasonably decent looking, collectively the girls at work have decided I'm only 35… so what's wrong?
You can tell a lot by how people treat service workers. We get these yuppy couples in the store. The guys are polite and the women are just mean. All the time at work I see hard, rude, nasty, women with nice guys… why do they have nice guys? So they can snap their fingers at them and see how high they jump? They are the girls who use to bully me mercilessly in junior high (& they probably all have nice guys too). Lots of nice women have nice guys too and there are lots of women in worse states than I could ever dream of but still… what is it?
My sister says I'm only getting back what I put out. According to her… I put out a looser vibe… that's comforting (that's probably not what she meant to say). I don't even know how you meet anyone anymore.
Wiener dog lady.
It's like my Aunt Betty use to tell me… there are worse things than being alone.