Wednesday, February 22, 2006

I'm not happy… tales of my X

Others might describe my DXH as a low life… I prefer to look at it a different way. We were a good couple. I loved him. We were happy--at least I was. Yeah, he left me without warning after 14 years of married life, yes his new wife is 17 years younger than me and yes, they up and moved to the opposite end of the country from me so now he is only able to see our son for a couple of weeks in the Summer. All this because as he described himself, "I'm Not Happy". You want to know something? He's STILL not happy and you wanna know something else? IT ISN'T MY PROBLEM!! For years his happiness, or lack there of, was MY problem, I took ownership of it, I chased my tail to make his life smoother, easier, calmer, all because I wanted him to be happy.

I asked my X once if he was "happy" now. He got mad, "Of course I'm not happy… my girlfriend is half my age… I have to pay child support so I am always broke". Funny that… I WAS happy when we were together… but I'm even happier now!

I have this long time friend--we'll call him "The Hanger". When he was still living with his girlfriend, "Beagle Babe", he would ask me on a fairly regular basis to fool around with him. If Beagle Babe was away, taking a night school class, whatever, he'd take me out for lunch, dinner and a movie, I'd even go over to her townhouse with him to have dinner and watch movies there. Eventually, one of her friends saw us out somewhere together and ratted him out. He quickly packed his bags and left. Beagle Babe wanted to know who he was with, he refused to discuss it. He could have told her I was just a friend. Instead he told her "I'm Not Happy". Now that he's not with her, I've had to make it very clear that while I like him and enjoy his company, I have NO wish to take her place. The truth is I NEVER want to be on the receiving end of the "I'm Not Happy" conversation again.

If you are unhappy, take responsibility! Look inside yourself. Younger, hotter, prettier, perkier--it may foster the illusion of happiness, but it's like a popsicle on a hot Summer's day. It doesn't last.

And if you've recently been on the receiving end of one of those conversations that begin with "I'm Not Happy"… be well and truly grateful that it isn't your problem anymore.


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