Tuesday, February 20, 2007

How would you photograph a state of angst anyway?

So I finally got my drink in Saturday night at the Make 1 pub night. I had no excuse not to be there as they meet at the pub across the street form where I work. It was badly needed and very much enjoyed.

I was working a seven day stretch while our AM is away on holidays. I can see why my Manager gets so frustrated sometimes. I wanted to smack someone yesterday. What ever happened to a work ethic? The overwhelming attitude seems to be "I'm not paid enough to care." but honestly if that's the way you feel, there are lots of jobs, no one has to be there if they don't want to be. We are more than fairly compensated for what we do.

I compensated for my stressful couple of weeks (not just mine, the boy has been through hell too) with some shopping. Note to self… don't go to the yarn store when you're mad at the X… anger and shopping don't mix. I've been wanting to try some more complicated cables and find a good starter lace pattern and when I bought the Jitterbug Jay sock yarn, There was another Colinette yarn that caught my eye The Cadenza Easy Care in Moss. I love the rusty flecks in it and the soft green colour… everything about it really… so I am going to use it to make a pair of Alchemy Cabled Gauntlets. I also picked up the pattern for an Alchemy "Lace & Cable Scarf", there was one on display at the store and it was so lovely and looks not too daunting for someone who has never done lace. I'm going to make it in Art Yarns, Silk Rhapsody 139. On top of that, I joined the Make One Sock Club. I am justifying it by telling myself it's a great way to try a whole bunch of different sock yarns and get some new toe up sock patterns all at a reasonable price. Oy, so much for knitting from stash. I'm not being completely bad though… I've been using my stash up too. Making fetchings, knitting blanket squares (now that I found my lost knitting bag), I could start another sweater as well. When I'm stressed out and cranky at the world all I want to do is shut my self away and knit. For years I use to shut my self away and read. When I was a kid, I would shut my self away and play the piano… really, really badly or draw. Basically, I just want to shut my self away… a natural recluse personality… maybe I should become a wiener dog lady… surely Ginger wouldn't mind.

Oh and I figured since… you know… my life is going to hell in a hand basket anyway… I'd tell the Hanger to get off the fence. We had that little talk last night. He seemed genuinely flabbergasted (God I love that word). He kept saying "but you're the one who's not ready". My sister told me that the reason he wouldn't commit to me was because I wouldn't commit to him. You get what you give and all that. She might have had something there. I'm prepared for him to walk away, if he does, than that's what's meant to be. If he doesn't… well… I'll deal with that when it happens.

Anyway, no photos… not in the mood… and how would you photograph a state of angst anyway?

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4 Comments:

Blogger quiltyknitwit said...

Everything seems to happen at once, doesn't it? Some Yarn Therapy was absolutely necessary. I also find it very stress-relieving. Take a deep breath and turn to the next chapter in your life!

8:13 PM  
Blogger Gina said...

I'm not sure that I can offer you any comfort beyond letting you know that I care that things are so very difficult for you and your son right now. They will get better - really they will. And you know that. In the meantime though it is hard not to wonder if that light at the end of the tunnel is really a train coming the other way.

8:15 PM  
Anonymous Terra said...

I've been dealing with some blues myself, and the amount of knitting I've been getting done is fabulous (much to the detriment of course work and housework though), its almost meditative to just sit and make stitch after stitch with a bit of delight when it turns into an FO.

9:23 AM  
Blogger The_Add_Knitter said...

Funny thing about shopping in a state of agitation: it always makes you feel better!!

Yes, I am so over several lame coworkers myself...

6:28 PM  

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