Monday, February 26, 2007

So it's official…

I'm becoming a wiener dog lady. Look… Ginger is thrilled.

I told the hanger a week ago today that if I wasn't the one… I wanted him to leave me alone. That I wasn't interested in being friends or "friends" as the case may be. Haven't heard from him since… zip… nothing… nada. 3-1/2 years. I don't hate the guy. He warned me from the start he was shallow but I thought he had hidden depths. Guess not.

So I've been doing my best to stay busy. Lots of knitting, my toe-up socks and some fetchings, nothing too mentally challenging. Cleaning my house.

Playing with my new toy. I needed a ball winder. I tend to end up at the LYS when ever I'm feeling despondent but this will get lots of use.

I am feeling despondent… it's a good word for a bad mood. I was happy being married (ignorant and blind yes… but damn it I was happy) and good at it too. Now it seems like something completely out of my reach. I am a good person, there is lots of love in my heart, I'm reasonably decent looking, collectively the girls at work have decided I'm only 35… so what's wrong?

You can tell a lot by how people treat service workers. We get these yuppy couples in the store. The guys are polite and the women are just mean. All the time at work I see hard, rude, nasty, women with nice guys… why do they have nice guys? So they can snap their fingers at them and see how high they jump? They are the girls who use to bully me mercilessly in junior high (& they probably all have nice guys too). Lots of nice women have nice guys too and there are lots of women in worse states than I could ever dream of but still… what is it?

My sister says I'm only getting back what I put out. According to her… I put out a looser vibe… that's comforting (that's probably not what she meant to say). I don't even know how you meet anyone anymore.

Wiener dog lady.

It's like my Aunt Betty use to tell me… there are worse things than being alone.

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Anonymous laura said...

I'm sorry to read that you're a bit on the blue side, but the ball winder is a very cool cheer-up toy :) Thus far, my own attempts to wind my own balls have been miserable failures!

Is is common to knit both socks concurrently, or one-at-a-time?

7:10 AM  
Blogger Karen said...

Oh how I wish I could give you a great big hug . . . . and a clone of my husband. I don't know why "the one" hasn't come along yet. I think it's good to do just what you are doing - take a step back, concentrate on the house, the dog, the knitting. But don't ever lose hope - I know he's out there looking for you!

7:31 AM  
Blogger Cynthia said...

Good for you, taking the risk and putting it out there for the hanger. You know the saying when one door closes another one opens... Try not to totally despair; it is really hard to meet someone worthy enough. Those nice guys and the brutal chicks - if they are putting up with it, what does it say about them? I didn't hook up with Ed until I was 35 and I had always told myself I wouldn't settle - so I am glad I didn't. I think it is better to be happy and true to yourself even if feeling a little alone (no question we all need some touch) than to be with someone who really doesn't make you feel good about yourself or with whom you are not completely satisfied. Be patient. I don't think you are putting out the loser vibe, I think that you are just in a tough position - if you really need to date I would suggest a service (because at least hopefully they screen the people and you have some choice over what you pick). Okay I will shut up now.

BTW the socks look great!

8:02 AM  
Anonymous Terra said...

Wow 3 and a half years. It seems like a long time for a hanger. Well, obviously you did the right thing, and just keep on keeping busy! I believe that knitting is the best therapy. Be selfish, knit nice things for yourself.
I knew a weiner dog named Ginger. She came in for back surgery when I was working at a vet ICU (same dog maybe?)

1:59 PM  
Blogger Gina said...

I'll put in my 2 cents worth - you are a beautiful, intelligent, skilled woman. You have much to offer a relationship. If we were sitting on the sofa, with a spiked cup of tea and covered in yarn, I would tell you to put your energy into yourself and your son. The investment can't be lost. One day someone will see that you care for yourself and will be desperate to care for you too.

3:01 PM  
Anonymous Divineladi said...

I think it's a good thing that you were up front with the hanger. If not, you would never really know where you stand, and that's not such a good feeling. I used to think of the same things about nasty women and good guys, but then I realize that those guys may not be as good as we think. I agree with your sister and your Aunt Betty. I knwo the right guy is out there for you, and when you'r enot looking, he will fall right on your lap. That's what happened to me, and I wanted to be single forever. Now, I'm married to a great man that fell into my lap when I wasn't looking. :-). Take the time for yourself and go with the flow. Who knows? The hanger might beback claiming you're the one.

12:10 PM  

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