It's…Alive!

So I am feeling in better spirits, down in the dumps gets right dull after a while. I felt like I needed a break from socks but wanted to be true to my attempt to finish more projects.

In that spirit, I have ressurected the tube wrap from Alterknits. There is nothing wrong with this project and I do want to make it, it'll be gorgeous when it's done. One teeny tiny problem… it's mohair…mohair is not my friend… I thought we could be friends but I was mistaken… is mohair is anyone's friend? May be mohair is just a two faced b**tch who pretends to be a friend so she can stab you in the back but I digress. The wrap is suppose to be made using 3 balls of Kid Silk Haze, In an attempt to keep the cost down slightly I decided on a compromise, 1 ball of Crystal Palace Kid Merino on either end of the wrap and a skein of Art Yarns Silk Mohair in the middle, all in a soft springy green pallet.

The plan was to pull a swath of vivid blue green silk through it when it's done and pin it with my favourite art noveau sterling silver pin. That was the plan. Well, I knit… and knit… and knit away at it and it just wasn't getting any bigger so it got sent to knitting coventry.

Now it's back like a bad smell… mohair still isn't my friend and if it's getting bigger, it's at a barely imperceptible rate but it lives again.

My socks are very nearly done and I was about to cast off on them (mostly because they were boring me) . Looking at them they should be at least an inch longer so I'll work on the wrap for a while then go back and finish off the socks.

A gratuitous picture of Billy because she hardly ever gets her picture taken.

Also… LOOK WHAT GINGER DID TO MY CELL PHONE!!!! And she actually went into my purse and dug it out to do it…Bad weiner dog.

Up 'n Down 'n Round we go…

Ok so the happies were somewhat of a fleeting thing…

My son has me down again. We are getting there slowly, slowly. He has an appointment with a psychologist who specializes in teen anxiety and depression for the end of June. The paediatrician is thrilled that he was able to get in to see her because it's a closed practice. She feels it will really help get to the root of my son's problems to see this woman. The new meds he's taking are making a huge difference with his ADD but they just aren't enough.

I feel like there is a great big weight in the middle of my chest. Mom's are suppose to make everything better and I can't. I started seeing my own counselor and she is helping me work through some stuff. It's emotionally exhausting but she's definitely helping me. It's just that every time my son has an anxiety attack my heart breaks into a million little pieces. He's so sorry afterwards and it's not his fault.

I'm coping right now but just… you know… barely. Every day I try and find light… things to feel good about… things to feel grateful for (and there is so much) and things that are positive and hopeful. Happiness is in the little things. Knitting is wonderful therapy. I do a lot of walking… pacing might be a more accurate term. We have this park near my house and a path that makes a loop through it. I walk the loop when ever I'm feeling out of control. It's like pacing in a really BIG circle.


I treated myself to more socky goodness. First off, I got the first installment in the Make1 Sock Club. A lovely lace sock pattern and some Schaefer Anne to knit it with. Second, I got these gorgeous skeins of Wooly Boully from The Loopy Ewe called "Lotus Blooms" and "Beneath the Cherry Tree" they came with a cute little needle inventory and a lovely note. I love them!!


And my jitterbug socks are almost done. I am a sloooow knitter. They aren't quite what I expected but it's OK. I can try for a better matched pair next time. They are fitting really well and I think my problem is that I started them from either end of the same ball when I should have done what the sane people do and made one, then continuing with the same end of the ball, made another one. However, my odd sock ways work for me and the mismatched socks are not out of sync with how I am feeling. I recently described myself to someone as a nut-laden-bar and right now, that's pretty much accurate.

The Happies…

There is a time and place for everything, a time to whine… a time to rant… a time to give you my list of the happies…

My frogs singing…The way my son giggles in his sleep…New lingerie…Summer dresses…Hot pink toenails…Red open toe shoes…The smell of lilacs…Climbing into a freshly made bed…Children selling lemonade…

Watching Ginger roll in the grass…A spritz of Clinique Happy Heart on the back of my neck…Real Ice tea…Singing made up songs like instead of "going to the chapel and I'm gonna get married", it's "going to the depot and I'm gonna buy a lawnmower"…Road Trips…Yard Sales…A great book…Sitting on the front porch…Going to a rugby match…Watching a Summer storm…Knitting or just dreaming of knitting…
Socky goodness…My Summer BBQ playlist on ITunes…Sitting in a dark little jazz club listening to an amazing quintet…Having breakfast at the airport.

I suddenly got me a severe case of the happies and I don't plan to let it go any time soon!

So tell me…what makes you happy?