Monday, January 22, 2007

Say What???

I was out for lunch with the Hanger today , y'all know the Hanger, he crops up in this blog on a fairly regular basis, my good buddy of well over three years. He casually mentions he took the X out to see the new townhouse, the same X he was cheating on the entire time they were together, including after they moved in (Don't ask me how I know this). She's decided she had it all wrong thinking he was cheating on her and wants to get back together.

Before Christmas, the hanger asked me to marry him (It wasn't an outright proposal more of a throw this out there and see how she reacts). I was my typical noncommittal self because I know him and while there's no doubt he cares about me, he doesn't know what he wants (said I wasn't ready and neither was he but that someday, when the boy is older, I would like to get married again).

For the last month, I have been avoiding the hanger for lots of reasons, mainly because the whole marriage conversation scared me silly but also because I've had some serious health concerns come up. Issues I'm really not up to talking about yet. My stress levels are pretty high and I don't want someone in the picture until I know where things stand.

Now that I've finally told him, dear Hanger does seem genuinely concerned about my health and upset about what's going on but it really isn't enough.

The Hanger needs to get off the fence. OK, Lets be honest, I need to get off the fence. May be the fact that neither one of us seems able to get off the fence should be taken as a sign. May be we should just go back to being friends.

Now that the good stuff is off my chest, I've been doing lots of knitting. Making squares for the Lone Knitters blanket drive and I'm nearly finished another scarf. I am trying very hard not to start anything unless something else is finished. Knitting keeps my mind off other things. Keeps me from worrying about things I can't change. That's one thing the Hanger said that is absolutely true, "Worrying is like sitting in a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere."


Blogger Gina said...

Thinking of you Martina....

8:59 PM  
Blogger Gina said...

Jeez MARNIE - I can't believe I got your name wrong. I really do know who you are! I'm so sorry.

9:05 PM  
Blogger canknitian said...

Thinking of you and sending you a BIG hug,

10:07 PM  
Blogger The_Add_Knitter said...

Sending healing thoughts your way.....

The Hanger: I can't get a read on him. It's nice to have someone to pal around with and a companion when you're feeling lonely, just know that you deserve someone who is totally available to you in every way! Decide if he's that person.

8:37 PM  
Blogger Lone Knitter said...

I hope that you're okay healthwise. I hope that you can come to something that makes sense for you with Hangar. Sometimes I think that we want clarity while things are in the gray, and it certainly sounds like things are in the gray for you. It's very hard. I hope you find your answers.

3:22 PM  
Blogger quiltyknitwit said...

Sorry to hear that there might be some health problems. I'll keep a good thought for you.

5:34 PM  

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