Sunday, July 23, 2006

How Ya' Feeling…


Hot, Hot, HOT! It's July and Calgary is Cookin'. Too hot to Knit (my X use to say too hot to do something else but we won't talk about that). It's sleeping in undies and a tank top with no covers and the fan going full blast weather. Even the dog is too hot to move.

I took the boy to "Pirates of the Caribbean II" just to enjoy the air conditioning in the theatre. We had a good storm today, cooled things off a little bit but not much. Took the boy to Sun and Salsa, we went early so we were heading home when it really got crowded. "Twist of Fate" had a booth with hand dyed yarn. As soon as my son saw it, he started trying to pull me away. The owner called him "A Force of Nature", I said "No, he just knows what I'm like around yarn".

Soon the boy goes to visit his Dad in Ontario. He's not keen on going but I hope for both their sakes it goes well. I've blogged about my X and the transformation I underwent when he left here. At this point, the only thing I still haven't forgiven him for is moving so darn far away. Last year, the boy went out to ON and they spent a whopping 10 days together (the boy came home and said he would never go back again), it was even less the year before. I wrote my X asking him to spend as much time with our son as he could this Summer and he came up with 3 weeks. 3 weeks!!! I don't understand. Doesn't he get that his son is slipping away from him… turning away… and he's just letting it happen! I understand that my X wasn't happy with me, and at one point in my life, I loved him enough that I honestly hope he is happier now but why did he move so far away from his only child? I know he loves his son, it doesn't make sense to me. I am crossing all my fingers and toes that the visit goes well and that they rekindle what they use to have.


Know what I'll be doing when the boy is gone… Knitting. Lots and lots of knitting. If it ever cools down. I had new knitting but I frogged it. I am almost finished my ribbon shell… just needs some sewing and blocking and its tafeta ribbon.

I also have a trip in August. I am heading out to BC for a memorial service. I wanted to write about my Aunt Betty. She was a central influence growing up and had more to do with the person I am today than anyone else. I could tell her anything. She was my Mom's best friend. She was there when my Mom was sick, she was there when I went through my divorce, she was there when my best friend went through her divorce (I'm not sure what she said but they spoke on the phone and it helped), she even taught me to knit when I was 13 years old (not that I appreciated it at the time) she has always been there. Always. And now she isn't. I feel like there is something I should say and words entirely fail me. I feel like I should be sobbing inconsolably and I'm not. May be because I took the time to tell her how I felt before she got too sick. She knew how much I loved her, she always knew. My heart is breaking for my Dad, and my cousin but there isn't anything left to say… except goodbye.

4 Comments:

Anonymous canknitian said...

Sounds like your Aunt Betty was a great lady. So sorry for your loss, but glad to hear that you will be helping to celebrate her life next month.

Big hug.

7:46 AM  
Blogger Lorraine The Knitting Hammy said...

Hi Marnie- I've come to the realization that we only can be repsonsible for our own behavior, and it may not make sense about your Ex, but maybe it's a case of out of sight, out of mind.
It's only sad that your son get's the short end of the stick- but he's got you, and as he matures, he'll see things differently. Enjoy the rest of your summer.

8:06 AM  
Blogger christine said...

Oh course, I had to come and see Ginger........what a cutie! Aren't they all, though?

11:38 AM  
Blogger The_Add_Knitter said...

Your post resonated with me alot--my husband lives in NYC and sees the girls a weekend here and there, this summer for a week and this weekend again for 3 days. Totally unsubstantial. My (new) husband and I don't get it, why doesn't he even try slightly harder? I honestly think that many men remain permanent adolescents and don't evolve beyond that. At least you son has an excellent mummy who he seems like he really enjoys. Good luck with the memorial and I'm glad that your aunt knew she was loved.

3:09 PM  

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