Sunday, May 13, 2007

Not Knitting…

Miracles of miracles, my son is no longer on the team with the football kids. He got switched to accommodate more of their car pooling issues. Works for me. Now he's on the team with the nice parents.

He wasn't at practice this week. One of the sad things about anxiety is that it tends to spread. Monday the boy convinced me he was far too tired to play rugby and further more had hurt his knee while playing rugby in gym. The week kind of went down hill from there. Major anxiety issues. Tuesday the mailman brought brand new cleats from Ruggers Canada. So Wednesday, I thought practice would be easy, nice weather, new cleats to show off, it's all good. The boy got ready to go and seemed excited to try out the new cleats; we got up there and he couldn't get out of the car. A big fat tear was rolling down each cheek and he couldn't tell me why. He played a bit at the game today and stayed to watch 'til the end so he could cheer his team, they won.

I guess the good news is I was able to get him into the specialist finally on Tuesday because she had a cancellation. She has him on a much higher dosage of his primary ADD medication and is in the process of increasing the secondary ADD medication which is also used as an anti-anxiety medication. She feels the main reason for the anxiety is that he was on dosages too low for his age and weight and that by bringing his medication levels up, the negative components of his ADD will subside, his ability to function and do well at school will increase and his anxiety will go down. If that doesn't work, I also have a referral to a clinic with psychologists who specialise in adolescent anxiety. Hopefully one of them could help the boy.

The thing with anxiety is people can't see it. Talking to his teachers, they don't get it. They STILL think it's being lazy and irresponsible. Trying to explain to his coaches why he wasn't at practice this week, they don't really get it, although they are trying to.

I can't show the boy how this is affecting me. I know how many knit bloggers are also parents, you guys can sympathise. If I show any weakness it feeds the anxiety. If I get upset, or depressed, any chink that all is not A-OK and things go South. I gotta stay positive, up beat, sunshine and lollipops--if I take the odd break from blogging, it's 'cause I'm having trouble doing that.

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Blogger The_Add_Knitter said...

Hi Marnie,
I totally understand the whole 'pretending to be ok' mode, it's how I was when I was getting glad you got his meds switched, I know from personal experience how much of a difference that will make. Hang in the there, Babe. You are such an awesome mom!

4:02 PM  
Blogger canknitian said...

As an adult who deals with anxiety, etc, I think the important thing is for you to reinforce the message that he's trying and that you understand that he's not lazy / irresponsible (or, at least, not deliberately so). The tough thing as an adult is that I believed those things about myself and didn't have anyone reinforcing the positive messages.

I'm thinking of you. Don't put too much pressure on yourself to be perfect, sunshine and lollipops. Be healthy. If you get frustrated, work through it. It's good for him to see adults working through real behaviour. You need to stay healthy. Pushing yourself to be perfect could really wear you down.

Just keep on being you -- you're super. So be super. :)

always here if you need me,
big hug,

7:03 PM  
Anonymous Gina said...

I'm here too Marnie. I'm waiting on a pediatrician for #2. The school finally convinced me that ADD is a possibility for him, but seeing his self-scores on a functional skills inventory ALL land in the "at risk" category nearly broke my heart. We love them so much! How is it that our love isn't big enough to heal them? Be well my friend.

10:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is such a tough situation and it never really gets solved. We all just learn to live with its ups and downs. Keep taking good care of yourself. Glad you're away from the nasty sports parents!

9:10 PM  
Blogger The_Add_Knitter said...

Hate to do this to you, but you're tagged. See my blog.;)

7:57 AM  

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